


Until Death Do Us Part

by KnightsofEclipse



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Companion Piece, F/F, I Made Myself Cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 14:08:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14262669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnightsofEclipse/pseuds/KnightsofEclipse
Summary: Ursula knows. She muses about things. The things she would have liked to say. Her own actions. She blames herself. Cruella doesn't.





	Until Death Do Us Part

I felt her leave. I felt my heart be ripped in two and my soul scream out to go with her. I didn’t want to stay in this world. Nothing could make me stay. No happy ending was worth her being gone. No happiness could ever exist without her. Even if she wasn’t by my side she was still there. 

I was a fool. I never told her how I felt. And I would be even more of a fool if I thought she could ever feel for me how I felt for her. She was beautiful and brilliant. She was spirited and outrageous. I could have spent hours staring at her or listening to her. 

My greatest regret, if I can name only one, was that I never got to hold her hand. I never got to entwine my fingers with hers. Never got to trace patterns in her skin or feel our heartbeats sync up. Never got to watch the colours of our skin mix until we couldn’t tell each other apart.

But I have other regrets, too. I regret not staying. I should have. I had everything I could ever want sitting right next to me. And I threw it all away for a happy end I dreamed up as a child. I wonder, if she would have had me had I stayed. Would it have made a difference? Did I mean anything to her?

I regret not knowing. Not asking. Not saying a damn word because I was afraid. I was afraid of my own words. Of admitting that maybe my happy end was already here and I would lose it all if I opened my mouth. Or that they would chase me away because I was happy and they weren’t.

I loved her. I love her. I will always love her. Even if she is gone I will love her until we can be together again. And then I will love her even more. I won’t waste a day not loving her. I just have to pray that the day I do find her that she loves me. 

Could she love me? Am I worth loving? I left her. Could she forgive me for that? I ran away with the happiness I thought I had and left her all alone to fend for herself. I don’t think I can forgive myself for abandoning her. 

Was she happy? When it happened? Did she go out smiling? I hope so. Her smile was the best part of her. When she smiled, my whole world stopped moving and it was just her. And I was jealous if she smiled for anyone but me. And until I ran away with this supposed happiness, I only ever smiled for her. Because she was the only thing worth smiling about.

I don’t feel so lonely anymore. It’s almost like she’s here with me. Like I can feel her embrace. Like death isn’t something that can destroy our bond. I can hear her voice. And I know it’s saying the words I was too afraid to: _I love you_.


End file.
